


Alphys Orders a Pizza

by tatersalad5001



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Snowdin (Undertale), Undertale Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 01:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7078174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatersalad5001/pseuds/tatersalad5001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alphys calls the protagonist in Snowdin and tries to order a pizza: fun value 47.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alphys Orders a Pizza

**Author's Note:**

> I've been kinda hitting a stump in getting myself to write lately, I've been really tired and my brain's really foggy. It's hard to get my mind in gear for it, but I still want to write because it's fun and one way I like to relax, so this is more of like a warm up or something. It was a long warm up, though. It's actually longer than I wanted it to be, which...is good, I guess? But whatever. I'm tired. Take it. Forgive any mistakes, I'm tired like I said.
> 
> Here's how I imagine the pizza phone call would go.

It had been a long time since Alphys had set up her cameras all over the Underground in secret. They stretched from the Snowdin Forest to the Core, allowing her to see just about anything that was going on. But she had no intention of invading anyone's privacy, and she did her best not to. The cameras were all set up outside, and mostly set up in low traffic places. And when she did check them, she barely looked for a couple of seconds. They were all set up for purely security reasons, and nothing more. When another human fell to the Underground, she'd be one of the first to know.

Her efforts had paid off. She wasn't the first to know, of course; she didn't see the human in the cameras right away, and some sentries and guards of the Royal Guard were right in the area, and easily found them first. But she still saw them before too much time had passed. At least, not enough time that a report to Undyne could be made. The human wasn't even halfway between the entrance to the Ruins and Snowdin. Everyone would still be busy dealing with them.

So, of course she should tell Undyne immediately, right? She could be the first one to give her the news! Undyne would like her even more! Maybe she could even finally...

...

Well, she should still wait to give the report. She had no information about the human other than that they had just arrived. Before she told anyone, she should probably gather some more intel.

So all of her other projects were abandoned, and that was how she found herself alone in her lab, watching the human's every movement, their every action. Mettaton was off filming one of his shows, and no one else was around. With a sigh, she rested her head in her hands and settled down. She was prepared to sit there and watch for awhile.

"heya. have you thought about getting more involved with what you're watching?"

"AAGH!" she screamed as she struggled to keep herself upright. She'd almost fallen straight onto her floor. " _Sans, w-what are you d-doing here_?"

Sans, who was currently standing by a doors that lead outside, grinned at her. "i just remembered you had all those cameras hiding everywhere. figured i'd see if you'd noticed the human yet."

"Of course I have, I check..." She blinked. "You _know_ about those?"

He laughed. "so, do ya wanna sit here and just watch them, or do you wanna get involved and learn a lot more about them?"

She frowned, looking between him and the screen that was showing the human walk through Snowdin Forest. She turned back to him again. "W-well, I guess, but... I-I-I don't want to leave Hotland. Snowdin's way too cold!"

"i never said you'd have to go anywhere. you won't even have to leave your lab."

"H-huh? How?"

He chuckled, slowly walking over to her. "it's simple. we'll talk to 'em from here. i know they've got a phone, so we'll make a phone call." Once he was standing right next to her, he stopped and rested one of his hands on her shoulder. His eyes glowed brightly as he looked up at the screen. "but not just any phone call. we'll make a prank call, see how they handle a little annoyance."

"A call?" She frowned, now looking up at the screen as well. "You know how b-bad I am with calls...I-I don't know if I can do it."

"'course ya can, alph. you got this in the bag." He gently pat her on the shoulder. "just think of all the info you could get from it. undyne will be really impressed. and 'sides, i'll be right here for ya. we'll do it together."

Alphys hesitated, then nodded. "A-alright. Let's do it."

It took them about ten minutes to get prepared. Alphys wanted to find her spare phone, they needed to come up with a perfect prank, and once they did, they had to look up something involved with it. And, of course, Alphys needed to find out their phone number, too, but that wasn't very much trouble. She narrowed it down to two numbers within two minutes. Worst case scenario, they pulled the same prank call twice on two different people. No harm done, other than having to talk on the phone longer than necessary.

They were ready. Or, at least Alphys was as ready as she could be. She felt light-headed and she could feel her palms sweating as she dialed the first number. Once the recipient picked up, she'd wait for them to say something first.

"Hello?" the other person on the line asked.

The voice wasn't what she'd expected the human to sound like at all. It was too old, too kind, and definitely too loud for someone who didn't look like they talked much at all. Alphys chanced a glance at the screen. The human had entered a fight with a Snowdrake, they weren't on the phone at all.

Without saying a word, she hung up.

"who was that?" Sans asked. The expression on his face was unreadable.

"It was familiar, but...I have no idea," she muttered. "We'll have to try the other one."

He nodded. "you got this, alph."

Her claws shaking, Alphys carefully dialed out the second number of the two. She held her breath as she waited for the answer.

"Mmhm?" a voice hummed on the line hummed after a few seconds had passed.

She looked at the screen once again. The human was on their phone. She sighed with relief, but it was far from over.

"Uh...uh....." Her mind drew a blank as she tried to remember what to say. "Oh my god.....help." She whispered the last word to Sans, throwing him a desperate glance.

He, of course, was already prepared somehow. He handed her a piece of paper, which told her exactly what to say and what to do.

She nodded, smiling at him. This would make things a little easier. She squinted down at the paper. Doing her best, she continued, but there were a lot of unnatural pauses in her words. "I'd like to order...um...a pizza? With, uh...the toppings are, uh....I-I have them copied, I'll just paste them to you." Taking the phone away from her ear, she pasted and sent the message to them. Not too long after that, she hung up.

"heh, perfect." Sans turned back to look at the screen. "turn up the volume, let's see how the kid reacts."

* * *

Frisk heard their phone make a weird noise, and they realized their phone was really old. All it did was make calls, it couldn't do texts at all. They were about to warn the caller, but it was too late. The caller had already sent the text.

Luckily, the phone knew how to handle being sent a text message. Unfortunately, it was a really obnoxious solution. The phone started reading out the toppings in a slow, mechanical voice.

....Except, wait. These weren't pizza toppings at all. They were keyboard characters, weren't they?

"Period. Period. Period. Dash. Forward Slash. Backslash. Dash. Dash."

Their face screwed up and they hung up the phone before it got even a third of the way through.

**Author's Note:**

> Why are you reading this though when you could be reading Jaspertale, though.
> 
> Seriously, though, I'm absolutely stunned. A Fallen Gem's barely begun, and sixty people like it and almost thirty people are following it, between everywhere it's been posted! I can't believe it! It's what I get for writing a meme I guess, but I've never gotten that sort of response on anything like that ever! Thank you all, seriously! I intend to say something at the beginning of the next chapter, too, since people will actually see it there, but I really appreciate anyone who's even just looked at it and I'm really glad so many people like something I made!
> 
> Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the people who like other things I've done, too. The numbers may be smaller, but I appreciate you all just as much, if not more. Thank you for reading my stuff, thanks for leaving kudos if you did, thanks for giving it a chance. I love you all.


End file.
